


Sleep is for the weak

by Serafina360



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, but unrelated, inspired by Spectre, passing mention of possibly scientifically inaccurate eels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serafina360/pseuds/Serafina360
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q woke up to the blaring of his phone and nearly smashed his head in he jumped so hard. Fumbling for his glasses and cursing the damn thing, he managed to accept the call.</p>
<p>“What?” he said. Though to be fair, it probably came out sounding more like “wrah”.</p>
<p>“Q?” came James Bond’s voice from the other end of the line. “What’s the best way to take out a cell tower?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep is for the weak

Q woke up to the blaring of his phone and nearly smashed his head in he jumped so hard. Fumbling for his glasses and cursing the damn thing, he managed to accept the call.

“What?” he said. Though to be fair, it probably came out sounding more like “wrah”.

“Q?” came James Bond’s voice from the other end of the line. “What’s the best way to take out a cell tower?” He sounded alarmingly awake for this hour and slightly winded.

“Why in the bloody hell-“ Q said, but was cut off by Eve.

“Q?” she said. “Bond, you didn’t need to wake him. I have this well in hand.” She sounded even grouchier than Q felt.

“You said you didn’t know,” Bond said, trying to sound reasonable. There was some shouting from his end. The shouting wasn’t in English.

“Where are you?” Q asked.

“I _said_ I would find out,” Eve said, “Some of us actually need sleep.”

“Not me,” Q said, stumbling out of bed and over to his laptop. “What is going on?” He was pretty much resigned to his fate by this point.

“Just one moment,” Bond said, before all holy hell broke loose on his end of the line. Q could mostly hear large crashes, the roar of a panicking crowd and then several very loud gunshots.

“I think he’s going to be a while,” Eve said, sounding like she was trying very hard not to yawn.

“Will you please just tell me what is going on?” Q said, slumping back in his chair.

“Bond’s in Ghana. He called me to figure out who could possibly want to kill him this time.”

“His target?” Q suggested. “They generally hate us. Murderously so.”

“No,” Eve said. “He’s already very dead. Not clear how. Bond was a bit shifty about what exactly killed him. The most I managed to get out of him was that eels are surprisingly slippery.”

“What,” Q said.

Moneypenny ignored him. “So then it turns out that Bond has stumbled, completely accidentally, into a terrorist plot.”

Q gave into the urge to plant his face on the desk. “I honestly don’t understand how these sorts of things happen to him.”

He barely startled as another gunshot sounded far too close for comfort.

There was a pause from Eve’s end. Bond shouted a few more incomprehensible things.

“So _do_ you know how to take out a cell tower?” Eve asked.

Q accepted that he probably wasn’t getting back to sleep tonight and started hunting through his files.

“I presume you two maniacs already thought of just blowing it up?”

“Yeah, not an option, unfortunately.”

Q was already pulling up the relevant blueprints. “Let me see what I can come up with."

**Author's Note:**

> So this was basically me wanting to include Q in that scene from Spectre where Bond calls Moneypenny in the middle of the night. Because everything needs more Q. Might turn into a series of oneshots, because I have too many ideas.


End file.
